I was in my Hotel Room doing some coding with the TV muted in the background. I looked up and noticed a high speed chase on the news in Phoenix, AZ. This interest quickly turned to horror as I saw the man put a gun to his head, and take his own life on live TV.
It's weird, I know, but it occurred to me that watching cable news is like the 'Noisy Cricket' scene from Men In Black.
In the original Men In Black, Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are pursuing a giant cockroach, named Edgar, in possession of "The Galaxy". The Galaxy is an item so powerful, that another race, the Arquillians, have vowed to destroy the Earth rather than let it fall into the hands their sworn enemy, the Bugs.
Now, the bug doesn't look like a bug.
In fact, it looks a lot like Vincent D'Onofrio.
During the pursuit, to prevent The Galaxy's loss and save the earth, Will Smith fires the Noisy Cricket at Edgar and is promptly knocked on his butt...
He staggers to his feet and sprints after the fugitive. Feeling that Edgar the Bug might get away, Jay (Will Smith) fires two more shots from the obscenely powerful weapon in plain sight of New Yorkers. Edgar escapes. When his older partner Kay finally catches up with Jay, they have the following exchange:
Kay: We do not discharge our weapons in view of the public!
Jay: Man, we ain't got time for this cover-up bullshit! I don't know whether or not you've forgotten, but there's an Arquillian Battle Cruiser that's about to...
Kay: There's always an Arquillian Battle Cruiser, or a Corillian Death Ray, or an intergalactic plague that is about to wipe out all life on this miserable little planet, and the only way these people can get on with their happy lives is that they DO NOT KNOW ABOUT IT!
Which brings me to cable news. A recent study showed that people's happiness is inversely proportional to the amount of TV they consume:
http://lifehacker.com/5095892/happy-people-watch-less-tv-study-shows
We here in America lead relatively safe, peaceful lives. We can send our children to school where they will be well taught by teachers who care. Most of us will, thankfully, never experience violence. We are far more likely to be killed by our eating habits than a bullet. Our air is cleaner, our water is cleaner, and our lives, for the most part, are longer than any generation before us.
But that is not what we hear on the news. We are constantly inundated with Death and despair, and Doom. This is especially true concerning news about the Middle East and Africa. Theirs is a much different experience from ours, though after hundreds of years of living this way, it doesn't appear that much will change.
Even The Discovery Channel, a personal favorite, has jumped on the bandwagon. Recently, a relative of mine called me up in a near hysterical state about giant solar flares scorching the Earth to crisp, like a Corillian Death Ray. This was after watching an MIT wonk go into vivid detail about all the destruction and death that could happen, but admitted that if this highly unlikely event occurred, there would be nothing we could do about it. Nothing at all.
The world is constantly dotted with death, natural disasters, potential extinction events, terrorists threats, environmental threats, political threats and the like. All of these are presented on TV in the most hysterical, near-death terms for one purpose and one purpose alone: To keep us watching a few minutes longer, so we can see an advertisement. Most of these things are completely out of our control, and have little actual relevance to our day-to-day lives. But unlike the Men In Black, who want to save us from knowing about how close to the brink we are, cable news is constantly pushing it in your face 24-7.
I want to get on with my happy life, so I got rid of cable in the house. I'll just have to trust that life won't get wiped out on this planet any time soon.
Also, I promise not to fire the Noisy Cricket in public.
